DIY: my plan or His plan

In our Prophetic Workshop we’ve been learning to recognize the many ways God speaks to us. Recently He surprised me with one of these during my Bible meditation time. As I was reading a certain verse from the New Testament, a worship song playing on my iPod sang the exact same words in sync with my reading them!! Wow. Talk about a “I’m speaking to you” moment from the Lord. The day before He had reminded me of revival’s prerequisite “surrender.”  Then came this “iBible sync” from II Corinthians 12:10, specifically, “when I am weak, then I am strong.”  I want to share what this encouraging word meant to me.

If I admit “when I am weak” and abandon DIYing it, He will do through me what I’d never accomplish, “then I am strong.” There’s an old saying: Let go and let God!”

But this isn’t as easy as “1, 2, 3, now let go!”  We humans are very complex. Our soul has all kinds of reasons why we insist on DIYing it. It’s bred in us from our original parents. We’ve got hidden agendas, massive insecurities, fears we’d never voice and so on, all the result of sin’s presence. Plus we often have a whole plethora of fixes for our situations that we have either been trained in or dreamed up ourselves. And if we exhaust all those ideas, we can always Google our problem and up pops another endless list of DIY solutions. We insist we can fix anything. And sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t. There in lies what often confuses us. Why do our DIY’s sometimes work but at other times, they run us into a brick wall. What are we to believe when that happens?

Jesus came into this earth as a human with one great advantage: He was free of sin and free of the effects of sin. As the second Adam, He didn’t choose the DIY route which the first Adam originated and perfected. Instead, as John’s gospel repeats numerous times, He only did what He saw the Father doing. He only said what the Father told Him to say. He was completely surrendered and committed to the Father’s perspective and plan for accomplishing a second chance for mankind.

There are some situations that God has given us a mind and wisdom to solve for ourselves and He allows us the DIY project, even blessing it. He is for us and never against us. He loves us dearly and as any parent, wants us happy and according to His Word will generously bless our efforts. Here’s where we mistake our DIY successes for “strengths.”  After a lifetime of fixes that have worked, we mistakenly think we’re pretty good at solving our own problems and that God wants us DIYing. Then we hit that wall. We come to a place in life where nothing we do works. We can’t fix it!

The thing is that as believers we are called to be Spirit-led and not DIY led. Eventually we’re going to run up against those circumstances whose outcome is critical to His plans. In those, He wants us to give up our brainy ideas and let Him lead us to His solution and desired result which probably won’t be what we’d think to do ourselves or look anything like what we want.

I think this is where the Apostle Paul was. By the context of the previous chapter, we know the “problem” he faced came from harassing religious spirits that followed him everywhere, stirring up life threatening persecution and harrowing circumstances. The enemy hates the gospel of grace! In his ministry, he had seen many miracles, healings and deliverances for others just for the asking in Jesus’ name. So why couldn’t he end his problem the same way? The faith-filled entreaties he made on behalf of others didn’t work for him. Why was that? All he wanted was to be able to go about teaching and preaching the message God had given him in the places to which God led him minus these persecutions.

II Cor. 12:10 includes the phrase, “for Christ’s sake.” Paul said he gladly boasted in all these attacks the enemy continued to use against him because they were “for Christ’s sake.”  That’s what we need to ask ourselves when we are trying to fix the “wall”. If the situation, from God’s perspective, can be ”for Christ’s sake,” that is, it’s outcome could extend His Kingdom or miss it completely, or could bring Jesus renown or perhaps bring Him shame, or any number of other results and we insist on the DIY approach then we may find ourselves working against God’s plans and desires.

When Paul surrendered, he caught the eternal perspective of God’s plan for his life which involved a purposeful journey. He would be imprisoned several times, eventually brought before Caesar and condemned to his death but during the journey he would write down two-thirds of the New Testament for the rest of us to read. We would not have known the revelation Paul preached that “turned the world upside down” had he not fulfilled this destiny. That “higher” plan has enlarge the Kingdom for the past two millenia. His unresolved problem, his “weaknesses” that he came to “boast” in, were indeed “for Christ’s sake,” for the extension of Jesus’ Kingdom to the uttermost parts of the world. Paul surrendered his DIY remedy and fulfilled God’s greater purpose.

I’m endeavoring to live out that grace that enabled Jesus to completely abstain from the DIY but I don’t always hear Him so clearly. In the meantime I take comfort in Paul’s example. I’m not in any way comparing my life to that of Paul’s but in principle, I’ve realized that as long as I insist on DIYing my problems whose outcomes have significance in God’s plan, I remain blind to His greater purpose. And how do I know which ones are insignificant? The best thing I can do is surrender like Paul and see where the Spirit leads. As the verse said in sync with the song, “when I am weak, then I am strong.” When I admit I don’t know what God knows about situations then He can lead me and use me “for Christ’s sake”.

I’d much rather boast in the “unseen” of God’s perspective and means than to brag on my DIY talents and miss His plan.  And let’s face it, when considering the infinity of our Eternal God’s knowledge, we have to admit even the brightest human has only a small byte of data from which to draw to fix any situation, even with Google. In comparison, that is a pathetic weakness.

“Do It Yourself” or Surrender & Let God Lead? I choose the second. I choose to surrender and discover His perspective and desired outcomes. Who, but He, knows the significance?

Prophetic Ministry (God speaking to us) is often accomplished through the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, Dreams, and Visions. In this course we will discover:

• ·        What Prophetic ministry is,
• ·        The History of Prophetic Ministry
• ·        How God Communicates: Hearing His Voice
• ·        The Gifts Of The Holy Spirit
• ·        Visions and Dreams
• ·        How to be used in Prophetic Ministry
• ·        How to be used in Prophetic Evangelism

Here’s a little preview of the workshop:

What is Prophetic Ministry?

 Did you know that God spoke hundreds of times to His people through His prophets in the Old Testament of coming events?  In fact, approximately 300 such prophecies told of Jesus’ coming, His life, His ministry, His death, resurrection, and ascension to His reign as King of God’s Kingdom.  Hundreds of others foretell the demise of God’s enemies and the restoration of Israel to its present state as a nation. Many have told the history of nations in advance and some have foretold individual men’s actions before they were ever born. One account is about King Cyrus in Isaiah 45, a prophecy recorded by Isaiah almost 200 years before his birth! What’s even more amazing is that God used this pagan king as a type and shadow of the coming Messiah and His Kingdom. Fulfilled prophecy is one of the key reasons the Bible has authority to represent God in the earth.

 But what we are going to study in this workshop is not a history lesson of past prophecies coming to pass.  We are going to learn how to be a part of fulfilling prophecy today and extend the Kingdom of God to the people that we come into contact daily.

So what is Prophetic Ministry:

One pastor told me: “It is the supernatural revelation and impartation of the Holy Spirit for the purpose of edifying & building up an individual or a group through exhortation, edification and comfort.  It is accomplished through worship, psalms and spiritual songs, the gifts of the Spirit such as prophecy, interpretation of tongues, words of knowledge, wisdom and discernment, physical and emotional healings, miracles and signs and wonders.  Its ultimate purpose is to cause growth of the body for the building up of itself in love (Eph 4:11-16) resulting in revival and equipping and mobilizing the body into evangelism.”

The Prophetic in short is God speaking. It begins with all the prophetic passages in the Old Testament fulfilled in Christ and His Kingdom in the New Testament and throughout the Church Age up to and beyond today.

 The Prophetic often speaks the language of types and shadows. For example: King David’s victorious kingdom represents (is a type and shadow of) Christ’s coming Kingdom. King David represents Jesus as the Shepherd King. Mt. Zion, the place where David instituted 24/7 worship before the tabernacled Ark of the Covenant, where God manifested His glory in response, represents the Church worshipping her King and the answering Holy Spirit. God’s character is revealed as the people approach by grace, without regard for the Law’s requirements. The only requirement is the hunger and thirst of their hearts to know Him. That’s a revelation of the new covenant that Jesus brought. The restoration of David’s tabernacle was foretold in Acts 15:15-18 and we have seen it further fulfilled in the revelation and outpouring of prophetic worship “in order that the rest of mankind may seek the Lord…”

Prophetic voices, pictures, worship, ministry and even evangelism is all based in God speaking to us, our hearing His voice through all these and many other mediums and in turn, following His leading. That often involves interpreting His message and then moving in the gifts of the Spirit to minister it to others and bearing the fruit of the Spirit to be effective. The passage in I Corinthians 13 makes it clear that if we don’t love, all our efforts are but a noisy gong. Love is of course, subjective but we can cut through the fog by checking our motives. Is it about others or all about me.

 The Prophetic Ministry is also based in the Kingdom of God in contrast to church. The Kingdom of God is wherever Jesus is Lord and where the voice of the Spirit of the Lord is sought, listened to and obeyed. This is how the Kingdom is revealed and comes on earth.

 The Prophetic Ministry is experienced through spiritual revelation. Our All-Knowing God supernaturally reveals what is in the hearts and minds of people to willing believers in order for His heart about these things to be delivered to edify, exhort, and comfort.

Prophetic Ministry (God speaking to us) is often accomplished through the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, Dreams, and Visions. In this course we will discover:

• ·        What Prophetic ministry is,
• ·        The History of Prophetic Ministry
• ·        How God Communicates: Hearing His Voice
• ·        The Gifts Of The Holy Spirit
• ·        Visions and Dreams
• ·        How to be used in Prophetic Ministry
• ·        How to be used in Prophetic Evangelism

Obviously if we are going to hear God’s voice, we have to position ourselves to listen. There are many ways but here’s a few not so religious ways:

• Psalm 100 tells us we enter by thanksgiving and praise. Just begin to thank Him for all He has done for you and watch how quickly the Holy Spirit’s presence manifests.
• Worship that goes to the heart (this is not song singing) this is your heart cries put to music.
• Crying out for “mercy” – the Lord answers a contrite and humble heart.
• Hunger & Thirst for Him – recognize your real need and desire for Him and declare it to Him
• Get quiet – shut out all the world’s noise and get quiet before Him. Ask Him to speak to you. You may be surprised at how He will come most times to edify, encourage and comfort you!
• Journal your prayer time – “My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; my tongue is the pen of a ready writer…Ps 45:1”

The strong Name of the Trinity,

By invocation of the same,

The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me for ever.

By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation;

His baptism in the Jordan river;

His death on Cross for my salvation;

His bursting from the spicèd tomb;

His riding up the heavenly way;

His coming at the day of doom;* I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power

Of the great love of the cherubim;

The sweet ‘well done’ in judgment hour,

The service of the seraphim,

Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,

The Patriarchs’ prayers, the Prophets’ scrolls,

All good deeds done unto the Lord,

And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today

The virtues of the starlit heaven,

The glorious sun’s life-giving ray,

The whiteness of the moon at even,

The flashing of the lightning free,

The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,

The stable earth, the deep salt sea,

Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today

The power of God to hold and lead,

His eye to watch, His might to stay,

His ear to hearken to my need.

The wisdom of my God to teach,

His hand to guide, His shield to ward,

The word of God to give me speech,

His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,

The vice that gives temptation force,

The natural lusts that war within,

The hostile men that mar my course;

Or few or many, far or nigh,

In every place and in all hours,

Against their fierce hostility,

I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,

Against false words of heresy,

Against the knowledge that defiles,

Against the heart’s idolatry,

Against the wizard’s evil craft,

Against the death wound and the burning,

The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,

Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,

Christ behind me, Christ before me,

Christ beside me, Christ to win me,

Christ to comfort and restore me.

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me,

Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,

The strong Name of the Trinity;

By invocation of the same.

The Three in One, and One in Three,

Of Whom all nature hath creation,

Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:

Praise to the Lord of my salvation,

Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

The truth is I don’t know what “you” are feeling, thinking, doing, or believing.  And I certainly don’t know God’s specific will for you. Paul prayed for us that we would come to know Him in truth and “be filled with the knowledge of His will.” I pray that for myself daily because I need to know Him more now than ever in my life and to hear His specific will for me. Thankfully He keeps these things between me and Him. How then can I assume I’ve been made privy to any of His specific insight or will concerning “you?” I overestimate my importance when I assume such.

I also need to change my “we” statements…these are when I want to say “you” but don’t want to offend, so instead I say “we” to sound like I’m including myself in my judgments, as if that will make them more true and acceptable to “you”. But the truth is I’m only minimally including myself, and these are just badly disguised criticisms of “you”. Sometimes I’m actually lying when I use the “we” pronoun, because I don’t think it’s true of me at all. “We” statements are identifying but much of what I say about “we” I don’t actually identify with. There are some Biblical “we” statements that I absolutely want to identify with but if I presume you should identify with them too, I’m again on shaky ground. The media is really into “we” statements. Ever notice that many of the causes emphasize how “we are all affected” by the particular issue? I’m sure there are many people who believe that’s true. I don’t. The marketing tool is used to make everyone feel responsible for the issue and join in to find the cure, or at the least, send money to help someone else cure it. I often don’t identify with these “we are all affected” issues and subconsciously I click the mute button on my mental remote. Do I think I’m the only one with a mute button when I try to get “you” to identify with and take responsibility for my judgmental “we” statements?

“I” confessions are really the only statements I can make in truth. I believe in certain things. I feel this way. I’m doing such and such. I think this or that. I’m solely responsible for these. Let agreement or criticism come as it may. When it does, I must understand that every response is just as true for “you” as my statements are for me. I’m going to stop trespassing “your” mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries, stop telling “you” what “you” think, feel, or believe, and are responsible for and perhaps this will help me stop committing offences against “you” with my presumptions, judgments and criticisms. I’m going to be more truthful and use “I” in place of “you” and “we.” And if I feel compelled to use “you” instead of “me,” I’m going to search out why and perhaps learn something new about my own character defects. As I begin my effort to change this bad habit, please pray for me because I’ve been really good at pointing my finger at “you” and hiding “me” in the “we”. This will probably cut down on how much I have to say as well! LOL

Working on my hurts, habits and hang ups….

Step 5 “We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

I’ve been sharing a little about my CR journey so far. In my last post I shared about my hiding in plain sight, withdrawn in my affections and while in the middle of church ministry, quietly hurting. After working through previous steps, I came to Principle six, Step eight: “Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others…We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

From my inventory, I made my list of those I needed to forgive, but I had been here many, many times before. Then, my Lord Jesus confronted me about my inability to forgive all the offenses of the last few decades in such a way I could not resist. With His nail pierced hands stretched out at me, He asked me to really and finally forgive all the dozens of people I had on my list of all their offenses: all the assaults, malice, betrayals, abandonments, thefts, manipulations, lies, wrongs, and failures.  AND wow, what an amazing experience! What a sense of freedom and newness!

Now I’m in the midst of doing amends. Even before I started, I realized the outcome could range anywhere from another “wonderful” experience down to a tragic episode of “My name is Earl,” only not funny. By the way, it has been weird how two out of the past three videos I’ve picked wound up having someone working the twelve steps but was not in the review [Diminished Capacity and Ondine – I do recommend both – they’ll bring a smile to your face].

Oh, that reminds me I should introduce myself: “Hi, my name is Sharon. I’m a pastor’s wife and a serious believer in Jesus Christ as my Savior and my Lord, who is helping me overcome counter-dependency, a relationship killing issue only recently discovered by psychologists which stems from separation anxiety (and “blah, blah, blah”) but an issue the Bible has addressed for many millennia. I’m very thankful for this revelation which came through some psychologists’ book I “happened” right when I started CR. The behaviors list absolutely nailed me. Their behavioral research and insight on the maturing process opened my eyes to answers that had eluded me. Some of the book’s exercises have given me and my husband tools we have sorely needed all our married years. Unfortunately I can’t recommend it, because it excludes Jesus as a Healer of my brokenness. Though they don’t know it, they actually teach redemption and transformation though I admit some of their methods have amused us. They’d make awesome believers so everyone pray for them. God knows their names.

So back to the latest step, I prayed about whom I needed to ask forgiveness. This is really where the rubber meets the road, putting all those prayers of commitment to do His Will into action. If you’ve ever done this, you know how really disturbingly scary it is. After all, I’m going to be pointing out the “800lb gorilla in the room” each of the people I’ve hurt thinks about every time they see me.  Unless of course, they are a member in good standing of the very rare club of people who either choose to never be offended or who have learned the wisdom of completely forgiving someone as soon after being offended as possible. This is the club I’d like to earn membership in this year. But I can’t tell if they’re a member until we’re in the middle of the visit, so I don’t know how someone is going to react. Lord, please give me strength and courage.

I should add this disclaimer here: please forgive me if you haven’t heard from me but feel you should. God is giving me a great deal of mercy on this and knows who I can handle at this point. Most likely if He gave me the whole list of all the people I’ve offended in one sitting, I’d fold!  Please give Him (& me) time and who knows, you may hear from me yet.

There are a few things I must commit to do if I want to actually receive forgiveness. First is to confess the wrong without excuse, blame, or explanation. I sinned against you. That’s it! Second ask for forgiveness. That’s all, nothing else! If you receive forgiveness, be grateful, count yourself blessed, and close the book on it.

Well my first visit went really well. I mean I couldn’t have been met with more grace and forgiveness. I purposed to share all I was convicted of having done and then asked them to share what they wished I’d never done to them or had failed to do. That’s again really scary because for me that’s like dropping all the walls out of the way and asking someone to take a shot. I don’t recommend it unless you really know the other person’s heart and trust them and/or you are desperate to reconcile the chasm between you. Anyway, sure enough I was reminded of a real failure on my part (by the way, to admit I failed at anything is a huge hurdle!) and I realized how it had been very hurtful to them and selfishly protective of me. It was another occurrence of my being so “right” but really being so wrong that had resulted in another’s hurt. I admitted it was wrong, started to make an excuse, but cut it short. I was wrong that was all there was to it. Then, I was forgiven. Yes, just like that, the burden of it all was gone. I will always regret what I did but now I’m forgiven and so grateful, so very grateful. I wasn’t sure what I felt the first hour after our meeting but in the days since I’ve been freer, happier.

In fact, I was on my way to my second amends when suddenly I was struck by the beauty of our Colorado fall. I don’t usually enjoy fall…to me it means soon there’ll be snow, and slush and icy roads. But on that day I was different. Suddenly all the brilliance of the yellows and oranges of the trees and the reds and purples of bushes alongside the evergreens made me think: This is God’s seasonal fireworks “finale”. Since late spring and all through summer, the beauty of colorful flowers and blossoming trees sang to us like a peaceful lullaby, but He’s saved the crescendo, the vivid explosion of all things botanical to bring this year’s “show” to a glorious close. It made me smile at how present He is, in all seasons and in the present difficult times.

I wasn’t sure what to expect at that amends meeting. The person is so very precious to me but our relationship has been bumpy this year. Again I had prayed about what offenses I needed to confess, as well as a list of offensive attitudes. And when I finished giving my list, I again asked if there was anything I had done or had not done that I hadn’t included, knowing there was, and desperately wanting to heal the gap between us. And true to the honest heart I know, out they came, not just offenses but deep hurts. And finally my real sin was spoken: that my actions said I didn’t love. There it was! The secret I’d thought I could keep hidden, was exposed to the light. Why was I like that? I had no excuse. Then I thought: it’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m broken. I do the things I don’t want to do and those things I desire to do, I fail to do. It’s a confession of my condition. I need fixing – it’s why I’m in CR. I had hurt someone I had never intended to hurt.  I so agreed. I deserved to be executed. But I ask forgiveness. Then things got a little rushed and we suddenly had to pack up to go, but before we were out the door, I heard “I forgive you.” I came away different than from the first meeting. Now I also ached because of my sin against another. This was what I had feared, and now I’ll have to wrestle through the night to survive.

Soon that overnight stay in the lion’s den began. “He prowls about seeking whom he may devour” you know. And he loves to have genuine offenses to charge me with, to condemn me, and to tempt and scare me with. First to arrive was the fear of being separated forever from someone I love, then the fear of suffering pain. What choices will I make? Will I trust God to heal us? The flesh wanted to deny I was wrong, to declare self-righteousness, to argue the charges, to cry out, “Who needs them anyway?” The sharpened claws of judgment and criticism threatened while the sharp teeth of blame showed ready to devour. 

I’ve not been abandoned here tonight. He is with me and those nailed scarred hands are shielding me, upholding me. I’ll not return to my old ways – with His grace I’ll continue to admit I’m wrong, I’m broke, I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I’m not strong or invincible, I’m not entitled to a pity party, not justified in being unloving and unforgiving, angry, resentful and not going to become bitter. I do need help: His and that of other people. Most of all, I need this person, and hers, to be in my life because I do love them!

Let me first say this: I didn’t get to know my friend as well as I should have. He was the first person I met at a real estate office when I moved my real estate license there back in 2005. I didn’t get to know him well enough to know what he believed at the time. The statement he makes disturbs me for his sake and convicts me of my disengaged state. Please forgive me, my friend, for not taking the time to hear your story.

I’ve been working through Celebrate Recovery this year discovering why I did my “stepping away” without the vanishing act.  Was I out of church during that time…not a day. But I wasn’t there either. I’ll get into that a little later but want to give a little background here to put this whole thing in some context.

I wasn’t raised in a religion. My dearly loved Dad told us kids he wanted us to make our own choice. Bless his heart. That resulted in us not choosing anything. But I understood why he gave us that freedom. He had been raised a Catholic and was “kicked out” for marrying my non-Catholic mother and not baptizing his children in the church. I’m thankful he came to know Jesus as his Lord some years before he moved to heaven. As for me, I attended the nearest Sunday school as a child and heard the gospel of Jesus death and resurrection from the time I was very young but I left off going to church in junior high. Although I now recognize points  in my late teens and early 20′s that He was trying to get my attention, I didn’t come to know Jesus personally until I was on the brink of self destruction at 25. Only His tremendous grace spoke to me at that time, drew me, and gave me the faith to ask Him to take control of my life.

I hadn’t gone to church in years at that point in my life. I didn’t know the Apostles from the Pharisees, or the Ascension from the Transfiguration. All I knew was that I had met Him and He had embraced me. He had enveloped me in His love, a love I had never experienced before. At that momemt He saved me from myself. Knowing Him changed me. Ask anyone who knew me back then, some 35 plus years ago.

The point is I’ve learned lots of things “about Christianity” since then.  [For those who don't know me personally, a short resume: I'm a Bible teacher, church planter, pastor's wife and Bible College instructor for many years. I have a BA from Colorado Christian University with a minor in Biblical studies and hours at Denver Seminary in masters courses like Greek, Hermenuetics, the Formation of  the Canon, etc. Really impressive, huh? just kidding (LOL)....I digress.]

However there was really only a couple of important things I needed to know in order to meet Him: that He is the Son of God, that to pay for my sins, He was crucified and rose from the dead.  I didn’t even know that His resurrection meant a new life for me.

All that study and “education” added information and helped me in ministry, but it didn’t change my relationship with Him.

The only thing that has changed my relationship with the Lord is my relationship with other people. There is a mysterious intertwining of Christ and His Church. When I’ve been offended, didn’t forgive, and became bitter, trouble came in my relationship with the Lord and with others. Sometimes I caught it early and by His grace cleared the slate, forgiving and making amends quickly. But a number of years ago I became very disappointed and hurt in ministry. I let it fester into bitterness toward the church in general.  I went through a season of anger and resentment, even becoming bitter with God for awhile. That certainly affected our relationship…not from His side but from mine. His grace truly is amazing and it breaks my heart all over again to think of that awful season. It took me a long time to be healed of the harm I did to my own faith. As I’ve gone through Celebrate Recovery this year, I’ve discovered so much about myself from that season. I’ll be working on what I’ve learned for the rest of my life.  I’m just grateful He never “stepped away” from me during that time.

I hurt when I read the words, “I’ve stepped away from Christianity.” I know Jesus has not stepped away from my FB friend. Jesus is not threatened or moved by our questions about His Word. Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t want to presume what might be the reason in my friend’s case. Everyone’s situation is different. There are legitimate times to step away from a specific church body if the leadership proves themselves immoral, embraces heresy or fails to steward finances correctly. But I’ve seen people step away from church altogether because of unanswered doctrinal questions they have; perepheral teachings they don’t agree with; and sometimes just the pesky ”dots and tittles” they can’t reconcile to their belief system. It’s interesting to know that the Greek word for ”to know” in the New Testament means  to experience a relationship, not to gain knowledge about. In this Information Age we can’t substitute Google for eHarmony. We can’t let information take center stage in Church when it is not worthy of the place relationship has bought.

And then there are the more unreasonable excuses for stepping away from church: ”They sing songs I don’t know?” “There isn’t an altar in the sanctuary,” “Why doesn’t the pastor’s wife play the piano?” “Why are the women wearing makeup and their head’s are uncovered…don’t they know?” and my all time favorite, “Why isn’t the carpet blue…I like blue carpet in a church.”  Of course, today’s most often asked question is, “Can I take my Starbucks cup into the service?” “Yes, of course, just don’t spill it on the blue carpet.”

I don’t think Jesus is moved by any of this. He’d rather see us in church with the Starbucks than sitting at Starbucks on Sunday morning. While we sip our vente size Skinny Caramel Macchiato, He’s not impressed with how much we’ve learned about Christianity or even the Bible. He only asks, ”Do you know Me?” 

 (“To know, know, know Him, Is to love, love, love Him..”sung by the Teddy Bears, written by Phil Specter, #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 Dec ’58)

Have people offended, disappointed, and betrayed us. With His nail scarred hands reaching toward us, He’s asking , “Will you forgive them?” Not to mention what He’d like us to do to make amends to those that we’ve ignorred, avoided, criticised, offended, disappointed, and betrayed.

Just saying….

Ephesians 5:32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

Have you gone through one of these seasons?  In one now?

Have you returned? If so, let me know what helped you get it all sorted out and healed?

 No matter what title is pronounced upon someone, true apostolic ministry is evidenced by the ability to be a catalyst of new ministries and new churches. This anointing is evident from early in a person’s ministry.  This kind of ministry start up was nothing new to my husband Pat. He started a Christian coffee house outreach ministry back in 1978, just a couple years after being saved, that reached the Capitol Hill area and often had 15-20 witnessing teams on the streets each Friday and Saturday night bringing in the lost, often seeing a dozen or more new births each weekend. When Pat was hired on staff at Happy Church (now ORCC) as a youth and singles pastor in 1979, this anointing once again proved itself when the Denver Singles was birthed in 1981, one of the largest singles’ ministries in the city, ministering to 400-500 singles through a seven day a week program.  And even a few years ago, after we left our last church plant and spent a brief time at the Smoky Hill Vineyard, Pat raised up a ministry to several hundred people living out on east Colfax that is still being carried out by that church. At his present position, he keeps raising new ministries as the Lord leads.

Because of earlier start ups, we were not surprised when the Lord called us to San Diego in 1984 to plant Seedtime and Harvest Church.  Church planting in our circle was really pretty unheard of at that time. In fact the phrase, “pioneering a church” was often used back then because like the old pioneers, you pretty much launched out on your own to get it done. So that’s what we did. We sold our house and like Abraham left for a land where we didn’t know anyone and no one knew us.  Dr. Ken Stewart’s Grace Church in Tulsa, got behind us to pay for our meeting place for a year for which we will always be grateful. Other than their generosity, it was all by faith. Of course that was very challenging, but in truth, like the old saying, “the proof of the pudding is in the eating” or as some pastors said back then about adventures like this, “If it’s God, it’ll happen; if it’s not, it won’t last.” God had to prove He was in it. At the time, we would’ve liked more support but today, we’re glad we didn’t get it because we would have missed the many miracles He worked on our behalf, like the hundred fold return on a $100 offering Pat gave for another pastor’s building program that came the next day in a $10,000 check for our church.  He gets all the glory for both of these churches beginnings and their continuing contribution to His Kingdom. While establishing Seedtime in San Diego, we also had a hand in helping at least three other churches startup and become fruitful ministries to that area.

River of Life was planted the same way. Happy Church generously took an offering for us and we again launched out. We waited and waited for God to send us to another city but He wanted us on the west side of Denver, so we obeyed. We felt He wanted River planted by word of mouth and through small groups so people came to the church only because they knew someone else there. Over 70% of our people were in small groups. Over the eight years we pastored it, this church brought hundreds to the Lord and to the baptism of the Spirit. We had baptisms every couple months and always had a dozen or more to baptize.

 Some people assume because we didn’t stay in San Diego with the Seedtime church, that it must have failed. Or that because we aren’t with River of Life anymore that it must have shut down. That is misunderstanding how church planting takes place. Both of these churches are still thriving and blessing the Kingdom. We just obeyed God when our part of the planting was finished. After all if Paul had stayed at his first church plant, Christianity would’ve only reached Cyprus. Many church planters don’t stay with their church plants. They raise up or search out a pastor to take over and continue the ministry. The birthing of new churches takes place so many different ways, it’s a fascinating study.  We met one man and his wife in San Diego who had planted over a hundred churches in Australia and in the states independently. The longest they stayed at any one was less than a year, sometimes only a few months. While completing my degree, I took church planting courses at Colorado Christian University in the early ‘90’s and subsequently taught those courses at ORCC’s Bible College.  In the late 90’s, we had the privilege of being on a church planting team development group for the Rocky Mountain Foursquare District, at the district’s invitation.  What I noticed is not any of these methods are the same.  CCU’s church planting courses were a synopsis of how many of the Baptist “Community” churches were planted in our area which involved an in depth study of demographics, team member qualification, and strategic planning that often takes a year or more to implement but results in solid churches that remain. See www.churchplantingvillage.net for more on this.  Many of the Evangelical Presbyterian or PCA churches in the Denver Metro area were planted by one church planting team. We met with a member of that team back in 1994 to find out how they went about it with such success. They had a different method but the same basics of team development, community preparation, but instead of starting small groups they held a mass meeting usually at the neighborhood elementary school to launch a new church. There is now a EPCA church planting organization called Acts 29 (www.acts29network.org ) or Evangelical Free at  www.plantingchurches.com. Even the AOG holds church planting boot camps. Just Google “church planters, Denver, CO” and you’ll get a hundred sites on church planting groups.  The Foursquare Church has an extensively developed church planting school that also qualifies would-be church planters to make sure they have the right gifting, experience and solid marriages to plant a church. Since the nineteen thirties, Foursquare has been planting and sustaining churches worldwide (www.reachmore.foursquare.org). As we worked with our district’s church planting group, we heard of some couples who couldn’t qualify, at least at that point in their ministries, and we met a number of successful church planters, but we also witnessed a few starts that failed or never grew past the original group.   

Lastly, there are lots of churches across the US sending out “daughter” churches successfully.  These mother churches have an anointing to raise up and train pastors in ministry, then send them to un-churched areas. Some mother churches have hundreds of “daughters” across the nation. Most have a church planter school that prepares a team over a prolong period of time to know how to deal with the very different mindset and challenges of starting a new church. Startup churches don’t have nurseries, children’s church, or youth groups in place but these are developed as the right people are drawn in to head up these areas. Many people get excited about “going to” a new church start up but don’t realize if they are truly called there, they won’t be “going to” it but will be serving in these areas. We were amazed at the people the Lord brought to us to fill these ministry positions. The other interesting thing was that as the church grew past a certain size, we would see the original “helpers” leave to go to another small church where they would be needed again. Small churches have a completely different mindset than larger churches which is quite a paradigm shift and completely unrealized until it is experienced.

Pastors Marilyn and Wally have been equipping pastors for other churches for years “unofficially.” I’d love to know just how many churches have their ties back to the Hickeys through pastors who have come out from their ministry. They’ve been apostolic all these years – we certainly have always considered ORCC (Happy Church) our mother church and they have always been and will always be our “parents in the faith.”

Please read John 7:37-39  Jesus prophesied an outpouring of the Holy Spirit that would be as rivers of living water.  He did this during the Feast of Booths or Tabernacles, when the people would build and live in booths for seven days, they thought, to be reminded of their wilderness journey, and how God’s presence “tabernacled” in their midst. However, God’s intention was to make them thirst for His Presence again.  The Feast of Booths was celebrated in the fall (Sept/Oct) at the beginning of  planting season. At this time, every seventh or Sabbath year and in the year of Jubilee, the word would be read to the people in the square of the Water Gate by the pool of Siloam. You can find this demonstrated in Nehemiah 8. Each morning at day break, the High Priest with a golden pitcher in his hand, would lead a procession from the Temple on Mount Moriah over to Mount Zion in the old City of David, then down to the pool of Siloam, fill the pitcher with water, then proceed back to the Temple where he would pour out the water on the great altar. This procession was accompanied with trumpet blasts and singing and shouts of praise. It was to remind them of 3 distinct things:

1)     Of the Water from the Rock in the wilderness; God’s provision for the children of Israel in the desert

2)     The promise of the forthcoming “latter rain” in the spring which brings the best harvest.

3)     The prophecy of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit at the coming of the Messiah

So get the picture, the people are coming out of their booths where they are remembering and thirsting for the presence of God in their midst. They gather at the Pool of Siloam waiting for the priest to come fill the pitcher so they can celebrate God’s faithful quenching of their thirst, remember the promise of the latter rain, and the prophecy of the coming Messiah and His outpouring of the Holy Spirit.  Of course these are types and foreshadows of God’s redemption plan. Now let’s read John 7:37-39 again with this picture in mind:

37 “Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus (the Rock that poured forth the water in the desert(I Cor. 10:4)) stood (took the posture of a Prophet, the High Priest of God and the Messiah) and cried out, saying, “If any man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink (Lit., let him keep coming to me and let him keep drinking). He who believes in Me, as the Scripture (Is. 44:3; 55:1; 58:11) said, ‘From his innermost being ( Lit., out of his belly) shall flow rivers of living water.’ 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.” (Joel 2:28, John 1:33)

 As He prophesied here, Jesus went on to finish the redemption work of the cross and resurrection, then ascended to heaven so He could receive the promise of the Father and as Messiah, POUR OUT THE HOLY SPIRIT. Jesus told the disciples to wait for the promise of the Father, which they did, gathered in the Upper Room.  Guess where that Upper Room was in Jerusalem?  It was on Mount Zion, by the pool of Siloam by the Water Gate.  Could God make the picture of His plan any clearer? We read in Acts 2:1-4, on the day of Pentecost, Jesus poured out the Holy Spirit upon all the 120 there and the rivers of living water began to flow. Peter preached what this meant in Acts 2:10-41 (from Joel 2: 28) and 3000 were added to the church that day.

 Just as The Rock that followed them in the desert was replaced with a springing up well (Num. 21:16-18), the Holy Spirit comes:

• To live in us as the well of eternal life, the very presence of God remaining tabernacled in our spirit for our salvation, quenching our thirsts for His life.
• To be rivers of living water upon us flowing out of us for the sake of others.

Revelation 1:15 says Jesus voice is “like the sound of many waters” and later in 19:6 the Church’s voice is as the “sound of many waters.” I know my words are not so completely overtaken by the Holy Spirit today but one day we will not only be as He is but our voices will actually sound like His.

The night I cried out to God and turned control of my life over to Him (“please take control before I completely destroy it ” were my exact words), I was awakened. I found myself sitting straight up in bed, raised there by some unseen hand, my eyes wide open. I glanced at the clock, 3:00PM. A mighty sound approached from the left corner of the room, like a freight train coming through the wall. The sound became a distinct awesome voice moving as in slow motion from the one corner toward me coming so close it had to have touched the end of the bed “Get out! Get out as fast as you can!!” the Voice loudly warned before receding back toward the adjacent corner of the room, exiting just as suddenly as it had come. The air lightened and the stilled room darkened again, becoming ever so quiet. Stunned and unable to move I sat wondering, “What was that?” The Voice had sounded so familiar yet I couldn’t place it. In spite of its awesome power, the manner reminded me of my grandmother’s voice, for it had the same unconditional love in it that had always made me feel safe and secure, especially in my trying teen years. But it couldn’t have been Mamaw, as we had affectionately called her. She had passed on eight years before. No it wasn’t her, but it was someone like her or maybe…someone she was like. Her voice had come so close to sounding like His, that I was able to recognize Him speaking to me that crucial night.

I hope, no I desire above all else, that someday my voice would be so full of the Spirit it would be “as the sound of many waters” to someone thirsting for Him. That His Presence in my spirit and the washing of the word will wash away every trace of the bitterness life can bring and only leave behind sweet quiet waters for others to find rest beside.

ALSO WANT TO REMIND YOU TO CHECK ONE OF THE BEST SERIES I’VE HEARD IN YEARS ON THE HOLY SPIRIT BY PASTOR ROBERT MORRIS, GATEWAY CHURCH  http://www.gatewaypeople.com/index.php?action=res_series_details&sid=170

At our recent Women’s Connect, I used a drop of food coloring in the bottom of a glass  set inside a clear glass pitcher. When a little water was poured into the glass, the colored water appeared representing the Holy Spirit’s presence inside our hearts at our new birth.  

John 4:14 “…whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.” This indwelling satisfies our hunger and thirst; the filling of that God shaped hole in every human heart.

But Jesus didn’t stop there, “…Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” He prophesied that this water would “spring up.”  In Num 21:17, God’s people broke out singing: “Spring up O well” Do you remember that old song:

“Spring up, O well, within my soul; spring up, O well, and make me whole.”

Jesus wanted her to know that there is an additional dimension of this “Water” that was available to her. As John the Baptist said of Jesus in John 1:33, “He is the one who baptizes in the Holy Spirit.” 

 Now there are at least three baptisms for believers in the New Testament.  The following chart tells how each takes place:

Baptism In (subst)   Agent            Uniting Us In His:____

Water (Rom 6:5)         Believers          Death and resurrection

Body of Christ (I Cor. 12:13)  Holy Spirit   His Church

Holy Spirit (Jn. 1:33; Acts 1-2) Jesus     His Essence & Power

As you can see the substance, agent, and purpose are different in each one. Focusing on the Baptism in the Holy Spirit we see that Jesus is the agent who performs this baptism. The substance we are baptized into is the Holy Spirit and this baptism unites us to His complete filling, His essence, presence and power.  A look at the original word for baptism helps us get a clearer picture of this:

Baptismo: the process used in pickling or dyeing cloth:

1)     In dyeing cloth, it meant to immerse the cloth until every fiber was permeated/ united with the dye and changed to the color of the dye.

2)     In pickling – another word, Bapto meant to temporarily dip the “cuke” into boiling water, preparing it for change but our word, Baptismo meant to immerse in vinegar until a permanent change took place.

 So to be baptized in the Holy Spirit means to be immersed until every part of our being is permeated and united with the Holy Spirit of Christ and we are overwhelmed with His fullness. The process of change is begun. As we continue to be filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:18) transformation will continue throughout our lives until we are thoroughly “pickled” in His Spirit!

2 Cor. 3:17-18 Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory…this is the ultimate makeover!

Acts 1:8 But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you and you shall be My witnesses…

Acts 2:33 “Therefore, having been exalted to the right hand of God and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, He has poured forth this which you both see and hear.”

Remember that glass in the pitcher? If we pour the water into the glass until it not only fills but overflows and even fills up the pitcher. The glass is not just filled but immersed in the water – that is Baptismo – that is what the baptism in the Holy Spirit is supposed to look like: Not just in us, but filling us and upon us.

Putting on the Spirit: He not only indwells us, but springs up from inside and clothes us with His Presence, His Person and His Power, becoming our constant source of Life and a source of life for others.